My Journey with Anxiety (The Beginning of it and the Conquering)


When I was young ( around 2nd grade ) I started having really bad anxiety. It really all started when I saw part of a murder mystery that was on television. There was a remake scene of someone's death. It scared me soooo much, then again, I was only in 2nd grade. I wasn't as exposed to those type things. 
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Death wasn't something I thought about at such a young age until I watched that show. It opened my eyes a little ( a little to much that is ) to the world around me. There are bad people in the world and there is such a thing called death. Nobody can cheat it. We are all gonna die eventually unless Jesus comes down to take us to Heaven. That scared me. I hated the thought of losing my family, or dying of a disease, or just disease and sickness and harm attacking those I love. 
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After watching that show, it was really the starting point of my anxiety. I worried about everything. I always thought I was dying or that I had a terrible, deadly sickness or something. I would have a regular, normal headache that everyone gets and already diagnose myself with a brain tumor. My chest would hurt from heart-burn and I would think I had heart disease or something to that extreme. I could never just tell myself, "Oh, this might be a normal headache," or "oh, I probably just ate something that would cause this heart-burn." Yeah, anxiety was the ruler of my heart, mind, and emotions. It just would not stop. 
All of this anxiety and worrying took place for a long while. I did some counseling during elementary school for a short while (which a lot of times consisted of me playing Tom Cat on  the counselor's phone ) ,but I still let anxiety rule me. This ongoing worry lasted for quite some time. Heartbreaking events happened since the episode of watching that show which also resulted in some of the bad anxiety. Basically, I was letting Satan and the world take over. Not Jesus. I was so focused on the what-ifs and not on the now. 
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Well, how did I overcome it? 
6th grade year I was in Sunday school and our memory verse for that week was: 

~cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1Peter 5:7

That was literally my LIFE verse! I clung to it like a life line. Anytime I would worry I just remembered that verse. Another favorite life verse of mine is:

~do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7

You know, there was really just a point where I just kinda stopped worrying all the time (I still have my days though). I just shook off the worry and doubt like it was nothing...Because I realized I can't control everything. God is the ruler of this universe and He determines what happens. 

From when I used to think everything that ever hurt me was major, I started to have an attitude like, "Oh, I have a headache... I'm sure if I give it a day it'll go away." I just stopped caring. NOT saying you shouldn't care about your body or what happens to you but to an extent. My mother say, "give it 7 days." If you're still hurting in 7 days then maybe go see a doctor. ( This is obviously advice for those who are like me where they think everything is a bad sickness of some sort. ) 

These verses were my little lifelines. They were the change you carry in your pocket. They just kinda stuck there with me. God's Word stuck there with me. 

For all those with bad anxiety, take time to memorize these verses. Chew on them, think about them, and remember them when you start to worry and obsess over things. They helped me so I'm sure they can help you. Let those verses remind you that God is always with you and He does care about you. He doesn't want you to have a spirit of fear.

~ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. 1 Timothy 1:7.

We're all going to die... People are going to die... It doesn't make it any less heartbreaking it's just, there's just got to be a point when you realize you can't do anything about it. There are bad people in this world who do sinful, bad things. Be aware of people around you and try to be the best person you can be to be a shining light to this world. Don't worry about the what-ifs of every possible thing that could go wrong. Depend on God! Ask Him for guidance.  Whatever you worry about remember: 

Live your life to its fullest potential, because you only have 1 life. When you start to worry, pray God will calm your heart and mind and that He would fill you with only the peace God can give you! Keep fighting. Life's to short to worry. ;) Find joy in the little things of this life! Focus on the good and put away the bad! 

Hope this was somewhat inspirational. <333
Gotta fly,
LK (Red) 



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